Captain's Log: Stardate 91406.79

Ok, ok. You got me. I'm a Trekkie! No, that's not a bad thing. My favorite chore is to fold laundry and watch a Star Trek series on Netflix. Right now, I am watching Voyager, and I am in season two. As I just finished folding laundry, I'm still in the process of finishing an episode of Voyager, so I decided to write a blog entry while I finish the show. I seem to consistently be in the middle of one Star Trek show or another. For our second wedding anniversary, I made Chris a quilt. Every time I was upstairs cutting or sewing, I watched Stargate: SG-1, which was on Hulu at the time.

So, now that you know that about me, I figured I would write a little more about me. It's been about three months of not working now. While I've kept pretty busy with volunteering, doing things around the house, and job searching, most of my time has been occupied with trying to figure out the next direction of my life. It's been difficult and a bit stressful. I'm trying to put a lot of faith in God knowing that he will lead me, but I some times think that I may be missing a sign He is giving me.

As I contemplate my next steps, I think about all the other steps I've taken in my life that have led me on so many paths. I've taken on the role of quite a few things including:

• A CDC research assistant
• A waitress
• A U.S. Navy Aviation Electronics Technician
• A Naval electronics instructor's aide
• A lifeguard
• An audio repair technician
• An electronics tester and repair technician
• An equipment lease broker
• An account manager and collection agent
• A Petsmart sales clerk and cashier
• A college student
• A financial aide records manager
• A technical editor
• An administrative manager
• A digital photographer teacher's aide
• A newspaper reporter and photographer
• A wedding photographer
• A project assistant
• A doula
• A SharePoint administrator
• A proposal manager
• A software trainer
• An event planner
• A dog handler, groomer, and breeder

I have had quite a few dreams, a few I've actually accomplished, and some I didn't. I remember one of my dreams as an adolescent was to be an astronaut. I think that dream came about after watching Space Camp. I loved that movie and watched it quiet a few times. I even wrote NASA for information on what I needed to do to be an astronaut. Unfortunately, I found out that my eyesight was too bad to be considered.

Then after watching the Shamu show at Sea World in Orlando, I wanted to be a marine biologist so I could become a Killer Whale trainer. Then I realized I had a fear of deep water and because of a perforated ear drum, I would be unable to swim to deeper depths anyway.

Once I started going to college, I decided to major in journalism because I wanted to a photographer for National Geographic. I've since realized that is something I no longer want to do, but I still enjoy photography.

So, now that I am an adult, here I am again at crossroads trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. But one thing I am realizing is that I don't think I will ever stop learning and growing and changing. I enjoy being challenged and mentally stimulated. Maybe that's why I've been so many different things in my life. Maybe I will never settle for one career my whole life. But there are some things that I will be for the rest of my life and will never stop being. These roles bring me immense joy and fill my heart everyday: a daughter, a sister, a wife, and a mother. Thank you, Lord, for giving me these lifelong, fulfilling roles!

A lot has been going on this summer

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted. I kept thinking about it, but never got around to it.  Well, this summer has been crazy to say the least. Some bad things have happened to us, but some good things have happened, too. One thing we've learned through what we've been through is that our relationship is strong and our faith has continued to strengthen us.

Yes, we had a few moments when we asked, "Why us?" But we tried to not let them last long. We reminded ourselves that we can't change what has happened and dwelling in the past won't change anything. We knew we had to keep moving forward and learn and grow from our recent experiences and continue to love.

During this time, our family and friends have been so supportive and encouraging. We want to thank them so much for their kindness, understanding, and prayers.

Chris is getting settled in the new office, and they are slowly rebuilding their practice after they lost everything in the fire. Their previous landlord is rebuilding the burnt building, so Chris and his partners think they can be back there by April (I think I'm remembering this correctly). Despite the loss, Chris is busier than ever, so we can count our blessings.

I am no longer working, but find I am busier than ever still. Isn't it funny that no matter how much "free" time we have, how quickly it gets filled? I volunteered with the Front Range Exceptional Equestrians (FREE) once a week this summer and fall. This is a therapeutic horse program Colorado State University runs. The program is on a break for a couple of weeks. It was very humbling working with the students and learning how they persevere through everything they endure everyday. Despite their physical and mental disabilities, they are still able to smile and laugh with joy when riding.

I'm also finding time to help my grandma. She's been dealing with a lot of pain from a pinched nerve in her back. It's so difficult to see her in pain and moving so slowly and hunched over. I can see in her eyes how difficult it is for her having to be dependent on others when she has been taking care of others her entire life. With grandpa being gone for about a year and a half now, I sense her loneliness and my heart aches for her grief.

As for the adoption, not much has changed. We are waiting for the phone call saying we've been matched. We did hear that another adoption agency in the state closed, so most of their clients are getting referred to our adoption agency. We also know that they have several mothers they are working with now. Some, our case workers feel the birth mom will parent, which is great! After all, that's what we want; if a birth mom feels she is in position to parent, that's the ultimate goal. But if she would like to place her child with a family, then at least she has that option working with an adoption agency.

We hope all is well with you. If you get a chance, drop us a line and let us know how things are going with you. Until next time... Keep moving forward!